He loves to go in the car and ask all the time to go in the car. We always go for a walk in the morning (he loves outside, probably because he doesn't know how to play). He loves all food, says banana, and water now too. He loves singing twinkle twinkle little star. He doesn't want to learn any other songs. He will start singing twinkle in the middle of me teaching him another song. He said thank you for the first time today in English, what a surprise that was.
I am trying to put some weight on him. Thanks to Viviane, fellow blogger, she suggested making pudding with pediasure to put some weight on him. He eats this for snack time or dessert before bed. I have only been giving him juice at breakfast (prune) so he isn't drinking as much during the day now. He doesn't love water. This past Wednesday he was very constipated so I bought him some prune juice and he drinks this at breakfast. It has really helped him. We have never had a problem with loose bowls (most adoptive parents do because of the change in the children's diet when they come home). Calvin has always had 'pellets' in his diaper since the day we picked him up. Now he is doing better with his bowl movements. Calvin is still prefering me to anyone else. He wants me to do most things for him and no one else. He has some good moments with Chris but I am not sure if he thinks Chris is a caregiver and not part of the family. The girls and I are with him all day, but Chris only comes home for dinner and sees Calvin for 2 hrs each day. I am trying to let Chris do more on the weekends to bond with Calvin, and to give me a break too and spend some time on the girls. Calvin has not had any problems at night sleeping which is wonderful. He doesn't need me anymore during nap time to sit by his crib, he just goes to sleep. At night one of us will sit with him for 30 minutes (sometimes he is asleep by then and other times not)If he isn't we still leave, and he has been fine with this too. He doesn't cry in the mornings for us when he wakes up. I have a baby monitor in my room and know when he wakes up. It is usually around 7:15, the last 2 mornings it has been 8am. Then I go in and he smiles at me and sits up.
The girls just love him to pieces and he laughs when they laugh and wants to do what they do. He still isn't keen on the sandbox or turtle swimming pool. The girls were on their slip and slide today and yesterday and he wanted to join in, so he just walked down it. That was fun enough for him. Today after dinner we went to the public swimming pool the last hour it was open. There was hardly anyone there, which was great. He did so much better than I thought he would, I was sure we would have to leave after 5 minutes. He walked around in the baby pool for about 5 min and wanted to leave. So we went in the big pool. He was fine as long as he was in my arms and we did sit on the stairs most of the time. The girls had so much fun jumping off the diving board and going down the water slide. They have been begging me to go and see them. Chris usually takes them and I have stayed home with Calvin. All in all he is doing very well. I would say he is like a 2 yr old emotionally rather than a 3 yr old. However he is ready to be potty trained and I am having to change him quiet a bit because he tells me all the time when he has gone pee pee or poopie.
I am still trying to figure out his tantrums and what sets them off, if anything, and how to manage him during these times. I just feel like holding time makes him more angry and he wants to bite me or himself. The verse in the bible keeps going through my mind about parents not making your child angry! Any suggestions welcomed!
6 comments:
Sounds like he is doing really well and you are doing great. I find that just sitting nearby but not touching helps, i wait for my daughter to come to me as me holding her makes her really angry. I wait until she makes contact physically then i accept it and hold the same way. When she pulls away i let her as it appears to hurt her (physical touch) at the moment but is getting better using this technique.
Hi Celeste - i read in a blog (can't remember what blog) that to help ease transitions or changes from activity to activity - you can make small cards with pictures/words of your schedule for the day - kind of like a kids day planner! You can put the pictures on a magnetic board or bulletin board and go over it each morning. When an activity is completed - help him move that card over to show that it is done.
So - You might have a card for "wake up", "Breakfast", "get dressed", "grocery store", "park", "playtime", "bed time", "brush teeth", etc. If he knows the plan for the day - it can help with transitions. I searched for a store to buy cards and a board but was not super successful. The person in the blog made her own cards and laminated them. I did find one store with "daily routine" cards and then you could buy your own board - the store is: funandfunction.com
Not sure if this would help or not but though I would let you know.
Hi Celeste,
I wanted to say thank you for sharing your experiences. I think you are handling Calvin’s tantrums very well. In reading other experiences with tantrums, everyone struggles with what is the right thing to do – hold, not hold, or distraction/changing focus – I believe - continue to love him and pray for healing and with prayers and time love will heal and his tantrums will only be a memory.
I have been following your blog, as I am a PAP waiting on referrals from Bulgaria too. I have learned so much from your experiences as well as from others, each assisting us to be better prepared for our children.
Calvin seems to be an awesome little boy!
Many prayers
Pam
Hi Celeste - I wanted to say thank you for sharing your experiences. I think you are handling Calvin’s tantrums very well. In reading other experiences with tantrums, everyone struggles with what is the right thing to do – hold, not hold, or distraction/changing focus – I believe continue to love him and pray for healing and with prayers and time love will heal and his tantrums will only be a memory.
I have been following your blog, as I am a PAP waiting on referrals from Bulgaria too. I have learned so much from your experiences as well as from others, each assisting us to be better prepared for our children.
Calvin seems to be an awesome little boy!
Many prayers
Pam
Faith has her good and bad days too and it is hard to tell what sets her off. She is always focused on food although sometimes she just plays. She does her best at night as well. I think in regards to your holding time is that he has pent up anger and it will probably get worse before it gets better. He doens't know how to share it. Faith is similar, she is just mad as a hornet when I hold her but if I hang on long enough... even if I let go before we meet that loving stage the book talks about she seems relieved that she got it out of her system. I'd recommend reading the book again and see if you find your answer. Reading before you have the child is always different than reading after because each child is different and you will notice what Calvin needs in there. I think the anger is probalby just grief. Any of us when we are grieving are different on different days. Some days are better than others. And the poor kids don't know why they are sad/angry but all the changes are surley their cause.
Hi again!! I am just now getting the chance to catch up on your updates! LOL. As for the whole anger, tantrum thing, our little boy Ryan (also Age 3) had some pretty major tantrums as well. We found what sets them off was when he didn't get something he wanted. Be it a toy, food, attention, or if he was tired and didn't want to be out and about. Anything of that nature. What worked best for him was ignoring the tantrums. We would litterally sit him on the chair...a chair thats in view of where we were...and he would sit there until he was done with his tantrum. The longest one lasted an hour, and then they became shorter and shorter and shorter. Now he really doesn't have them any more. He has figured out that when he throws a fit he gets no attention, and he wants attention. So this worked good for our little guy, and now three months later, no more major tantrums. Oh and by the way 'baba' in Bulgarian means "grandma". LOL! To cute, he knows who is grandma is!!
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