Can't believe Calvin has almost been home with us for 1 year. Summer is finally here, Calvin got to experience some first like helping us mulch our back yard, buying and planting flowers, going to the beach and so on. We had our 2nd post placement done a few weeks ago and our social worker suggested we see an attachment therapist to have an evaluation done on how Calvin is adjusting and attaching to us. We weren't overly concerned, but there have been a number of things ( he seems more attached to mom than dad, some physical behavior when he is over stimulated to name a few).
We had our appointment last week and I am so glad we did. The therapist said he saw no red flags, and Calvin was adjusting well and attaching well. Attachment though is ongoing, it doesn't happen over night or in one year. He also gave us some pointers on helping Calvin attach more to hubby and gave us the green light to leave him with a babysitter or in the church nursery. He said if we do these we do need to check in with him to reassure him we will be returning. So start off with a babysitter for only 30 min, and when we put him in the nursery check on him every 5 minutes. He also said to expect some set backs as he will want to punish us for leaving him. At this time he does so well in church we aren't planning to leave him in the nursery. However, I am looking for a trustworthy babysitter.
Bulgarian Reunion here we come!
2 comments:
Can you believe its been that long already! Next week Faith will have been home a year!!! I'm thankful every day for that little princess :) It sounds like Calvin is doing a good job attaching, I think most kids probably attach to their mother's more when the mother is home with them all day and the Father is at work. Faith still gets pretty mad when I leave on Saturdays to go grocery shopping but I've noticed latley she doesn't retaliate as much when I get home. We have only left her at our house with my mom or Paul's mom for short times and then the other day I left her at Grandma's for the first time for about 30 minutes. She didn't notice I was gone until about 5 minutes before I got back, thank goodness my prayers were answered! She still wants to go to strangers and runs off in strange places, but as you said it takes a looong time to get over those things. Thanks for sharing updates, I love to hear from other adoptive parents that understand attachment :)
We still see some atachment things here and there and Andrew has been home 22 months now. We'll be seeing you in a couple of days and we can talk more about all that is going on in our families lives, especially our boys. Can't wait!!!
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