After lunch Calvin took a nap by himself in his crib and woke up 1.5 hr later. Chris worked half a day and came home. Once everyone had a snack we went off to Meijer Garden. It has a children's area which he enjoyed touching the water and playing in the sandbox. We were there for 2 hours. I was hot and Cathryn was tired of walking so we returned home. Dinner was hamburgers, which he ate and he had some chocolate cake. We bathed him (still not a big fan) and then we read some books and he played with his sisters upstairs (wanting to be chased). At 7pm I put him down for bed as he started crying and acting tired. He fell asleep 20 mintues later. However, at 8:30 he woke up screaming. So I went in and rubbed his back, he fell back to sleep until 9:30 and screamed again. This time he wouldn't go back to sleep and he didn't want to be in his crib. I sat in the rocking chair next to him crib but he didn't go to sleep. Finally at 10:30 I left the room and he started screaming again LOUD. I was soo tired. I went back up and took him out of his crib and lay on the bed with him, he kept pushing me away, saying no , I felt like he wanted me to hold him but he didn't want me to hold him. He was confused. This is what they call grieving I guess. Chris came in telling me to leave him and come to bed. But I felt like he was afraid and needed me. So I finally just held him really tight (legs and arms) and told him to be quiet, stop, it's okay, singing, etc. About midnight he finally relaxed in my arms, fell asleep in the bed and snuggled with me. This was soooooo hard. I was soooo tired and sooo angry that he wouldn't be quiet. I had to keep reminding myself, he is scared and is grieving. Of course he didn't sleep in , 7 am he woke up next to me. So up we got (otherwise he rocks back and forth). Now it is 10 am in the morning and he is tired (so am I). So he is taking an early nap, so much for trying to be on a schedule. We have been eating breakfast between 7:30-8am, eating lunch between 11:30-12 and then he goes down for a nap until 2:30/3pm. We do a snack when he wakes up and eat dinner between 5:30/6pm. He has been going to bed 7/7:30 when he is tired. I am hoping this is just jetlag and doesn't last a long time.
I am just not sure what to do about night time. Do I sleep with him in his bed (for how long, will he let me transition to his crib, or do i leave him in the bed?) or do I bring him into our bedroom in a pack and play and transition him out (then he has to get used to his bedroom down the road). Wish I could just let him cry himself to sleep but that doens't work, I tried to do that last night when I was at my wits end at 10:30 last night.
Also today he has been a bit jealous, Cathryn was kissing and hugging me and he said no and came over to sit in my lap I have made an effort to kiss them all at the same time to show him I love them all. Well that is an update of how things are going now that we are home.
4 comments:
One of Andrew's favorite things to do is to be chased. He screams, but loves every minute of it. He also likes to hide and have someone come find him. The anticipation is so great that he is giggling and screaming and calling us to find him all at the same time.
I understand getting angry, but knowing at the same time that our children are scared or grieving, etc. It doesn't help when you are so exhausted. We will be praying for you. It is so hard in the beginning, but it really does get better. You're not in this alone!! God understands and knows you and he also knows and understands Calvin. Continue to ask for wisdom!! You are doing a great job!!!!!!!
Hang in there mama. Day 2 you won't have a schedule. I can tell you its been about 34 days being home and this is day 2 for us even being close to a schedule! Give it a week or two before you worry about it too much. Maybe keep him up later at night if you can stand his tiredness. Faith drags us to her crib when she is ready to sleep. Though we put her down when it is late sometimes too. Flexibility! We shoot for a certian time but some times it just isn't going to work. Don't worry about transitioning any where yet. It is inconvenient to the parent but very helpful to the child. He has only been in his new home two days, give him some time.
Hi Celeste - Congratulations on being home with Calvin. I am not looking forward to such little sleep! Our agency's education coordinator recommended being in the same room with an adopted child while he sleeps for 6 weeks. They gave us a 6 week attachment schedule. I think sleeping in the same room for 6 weeks seems somewhat impratical - so I think I will just be in with them until they fall asleep and then be available, like you were, if they awaken. So, I don't think you have to worry about spending too much time with him while he is sleeping. I will pray for some better nights for you? Take care.
Praying for you dear friend.
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