Holidays and Celebrations

We celebrated our Christmas with Chris' family this past weekend by going skiing. This was Calvin's first time and the girl's second time. They all loved it and did great. Calvin started off with the harness but then he was skiing on his own. He loved it. 

Thanksgiving with cousins and grandparents.
This was Calvin's second Thanksgiving and he seemed to know what to expect with the turkey and spending the night at his grandparents. He just loves his extended family. He is always asking me if he can kiss and hug them. He especially loves his Aunt Carey. He climbed up beside her to watch a movie and eat popcorn one night.

We do notice that when we are around the grandparents and extended family,  Calvin tries to get away with things he knows he shouldn't do. Also his preschool teacher said once we came back from Thanksgiving weekend he was acting a bit insecure at school, following the teacher around all morning. At home his behavior has been 'normal'. No regression, which is what most books on adoption say to keep in mind with the holidays. Routine is important during the holidays and consistency with rules and following through with consequences.
Calvin is doing wonderfully and we wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Adoption Tax Credit (Refund)

Please sign the petition so that the Adoption Tax Credit will be renewed so other families can afford to save one more orphan and give them a family. Thanks for taking the time to do this!

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/support-hr-4373-and-s-3616-help-make-adoption-affordable-keep-tax-credit-and-make-it-refundable/GknZZR2H

Pre handwriting ideas...

Today we worked on drawing a straight line from the left of the page to the right side of the page.
We then also did straight lines from top to bottom holding a small crayon (broken in half) so he had to hold it in his pincer grip.
I drew dots on a page and he had to draw a circle around each dot with the same broken crayon. We then cut paper until his little hand was tired (1 page of construction paper). Another idea we have done in the past is putting stickers on dots. With the holidays coming and the traveling we will be doing, we won't start the brushing and compressions until after the holidays. He has a bouncy ball he bounces on and we put cushions on him and make him a sandwich. Thanks Viviane and CeAnn for the suggestions.

Great ideas for our adopted kiddos

Sensory Table Ideas

Occupational Therapy Store

Sensory processing Disorder Chart

Sensory Processing...

Now that Calvin has been home over a year I am noticing certain behaviors that weren't as noticeable at first because of him learning to trust us and experiencing new things. We noticed he fell a lot (were told he had low muscle tone), couldn't hold instruments (crayon, fork, pen, scissors) properly (his index finger not being used), he couldn't dress himself (pull on his socks). We have noticed the last 6 months that he has to touch EVERYTHING, smell (or make a comment about a smell ) ALL THE TIME, which is fine until we go into someone's home and he says very loudly, " house stinky". He still is not very coordinated, can't hop without holding on to a wall, bumps into most things, chews (puts things in his mouth) the majority of the time, which isn't great now that he is at preschool and getting sick ALL the time.
I was thinking the other day it is like he is seeking stimulation all the time in his mouth, touching things and smelling things. It is quiet frustrating most of the time. He gets really 'worked up' some times where he will grab at his sisters and squeeze. I have started looking for things on the internet to do with him to help him. We were doing brushing and compressions when he first came home but I didn't really see much of a difference. I am going to start doing these again (every 2 hrs) for 2 months to see if there is a difference. I will post what I find on this blog to keep track of what we are doing and what works.
He is still a sweet precious little boy who has come along way. He always wants to know the routine of the day, what he will be eating at meals and is very proud of himself when he accomplishes something like putting his coat on by himself.

Preschool...

Calvin started preschool 3 weeks ago. We talked about over the summer to prepare him. We talked about going to play with friends, obeying the teacher and coming home to eat lunch with mommy.
The book he loves to read about the above is Llama Llama misses Mama. I told him I would miss him but come back every time because I love him sooo much.

The first week he did great. The second week, after being home for the weekend, he had a few tears at drop off. It broke my heart but at the same time I was so happy he wanted to go with me. I have never seen him cry for us when we leave him. We started leaving him at the Church preschool room this summer to prepare for preschool, and he was always fine. Our therapist suggested checking in on him every 15 min to show him we would return. We did this the first time but he couldn't have cared less.

The reason we have him in preschool is because he needs occupational and physical therapy. If it wasn't for this, honestly he would still be home with me. He is such a smart boy. He knows his colors, shapes, letters and numbers. We are now working on his sounds. I found a great song/video on youtube that has the phonics with the letter. He loves it.

 First day of preschool, so excited to have his back pack and do what his sisters do!

Fundraiser for Zack...

http://adoptingsinglemom.blogspot.com/2012/09/fundraisergive-away-for-z.html

Visit the above blog to help find a family for Zack. There is a fundraiser going on right now to help find a family for him. He is eleven years old. He is also on the Reece's Rainbow site. What every you donate can help another family bring him home that can't afford the cost of adoption. Thanks for helping an orphan.

Our summer in pictures

 Gull Lake Ministries. We rented a cottage for the week.

 They had a theme each night at dinner, this was hillbilly night.

 Calvin's first time water tubing, on Silver Lake. He loved it.

Family bike ride, it was so fun. Calvin sakes to go every weekend now!

One year home

 Above photo of Calvin first week home from Bulgaria
 Weight 25 pds, height 36 in

This is Calvin one year later. Weight 42 pds, height 42 inches.
Others have mentioned Calvin seems more content and sure of him self. He is outgoing, happy, sometime controlling, loves food, loves playing with water and with his sisters. He is a quick learner. He knows his colors, shapes, and is now learning his numbers. We are so blessed by him.
He loves it when I tell him God loves him and made him just for our family.

Home 11 months

Can't believe Calvin has almost been home with us for 1 year.  Summer is finally here, Calvin got to experience some first like helping us mulch our back yard, buying and planting flowers, going to the beach and so on.  We had our 2nd post placement done a few weeks ago and our social worker suggested we see an attachment therapist to have an evaluation done on how Calvin is adjusting and attaching to us. We weren't overly concerned, but there have been a number of things ( he seems more attached to mom than dad, some physical behavior when he is over stimulated to name a few).
We had our appointment last week and I am so glad we did. The therapist said he saw no red flags, and Calvin was adjusting well and attaching well. Attachment though is ongoing, it doesn't happen over night or in one year. He also gave us some pointers on helping Calvin attach more to hubby and gave us the green light to leave him with a babysitter or in the church nursery. He said if we do these we do need to check in with him to reassure him we will be returning. So start off with a babysitter for only 30 min, and when we put him in the nursery check on him every 5 minutes. He also said to expect some set backs as he will want to punish us for leaving him. At this time he does so well in church we aren't planning to leave him in the nursery. However, I am looking for a trustworthy babysitter.
Bulgarian Reunion here we come!

10 months home....

Calvin has been home 10 months and 1 week.  It feels like he has always been apart of our family. He tells me he loves me through out the day for no reason. He hugs my legs, and is just the sweetest little guy.  He is eating everything again, for awhile he was being picky. I think it was a control thing for him. He will say he doesn't like something but I tell him he has to still eat it. This is usually what happens when I serve asparagus. He always complies.
He is healing well from his surgery. He is back to his normal self. When we did get back from the hospital though, he had a few nightmares and was talking about 'them' getting him. I told him daddy locks the door and will fight 'them'. We tell him he will always be with us forever and ever. He smiles when we say this.
Now that Calvin is able to communicate verbally with us, he has been talking about Bulgaria. He will tell us things out of the blue like, he ate oatmeal for breakfast and ate pretzels for snack in Bulgaria. He also told us he played in a swing.
He is doing well with his occupational therapy. He was at a 21 month year old, but his therapist says he is not around a 3 year old. He doesn't enjoy physical therapy as much, it is more difficult for him. We have signed him up at 2 places for preschool and waiting to hear which one will accept him. Both are very close to our home and he will be able to get ot and pt there.
Do we have some behavior issues sometimes, yes. He is just like a typical 3/4 year old. His biggest issue is control. I have learned to give him choices and this helps him and keeps the tantrums down to almost non existent.

 Calvin doing some fine motor activities at home

Calvin and mommy 

He is now watching tv these day, some days I tell him he can't watch tv and he cries. I remember when he came home he couldn't watch 3 min of tv. His favorites are curious george, little people and wiggles. He loves music and loves teasing his sisters.  Calvin loves to sing Amazing Grace and The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round. He also loves me reading to him before bed. Calvin's biggest accomplishment so far is that he can now ride a tricycle and he is learning to ride a big boy bike with training wheels.  We are so excited for this summer.  We are really looking to the Bulgarian Reunion in Ohio. I don't think he will appreciate it much this year, but I sure will.

Calvin turns 4

 Mickey Mouse Party

Mickey Mouse cupcakes

This was a special day for us. We missed celebrating Calvin's first 3 birthdays. Our son is finally home. We are so thankful that his birth-mom chose life and that God chose us to be his parents. We are so blessed. Happy Birthday Calvin, we love you son.

Hospital Stay

After we got back from our Disney Cruise, Calvin had a doctors appointment to see if a mass in his body had gotten smaller or not. He had a CT done under anesthesia, and they still saw it there. After he woke up (not happy mind you) they then sent me to talk to a surgeon. The surgeon said they wanted to put a needle in and pull out the fluid and biopsy it to see what was in there. They still couldn't tell after the CT, MRI and X ray's they have done on Calvin the last 6 months.
So they scheduled us to come in the following week to have the biopsy done. I asked my mother in law to pick the girls up from school and brings some clothes in case we might have to spend the night. So glad she did, because we ended up having to stay at the hospital for 5 nights.
To make a long story short, the doctors found a sponge inside his cavity, next to his lung. They had to make an incision between his ribs and pull it out, but it wasn't easy. He had to have a drain tube in his chest and this is what kept us in the hospital. Calvin wasn't too happy about having his blood taken each morning (many tears) and he was in some pain from the tube. He is home now, still recovering. I am praying we don't have to have any more doctor visits other than yearly check ups with his cardiologists. We are also hoping to take him off his blood thinners when he starts preschool.

Our next adventure is Calvin's birthday party this coming weekend, he turns 4 and has requested a Mickey Mouse theme.

Disney Cruise over spring break

It has been awhile since I last update, sorry folks. Calvin had a wonderful time on our Disney Cruise, and so did the rest of the gang. He was so excited to see all the characters, with Mickey and Minnie being his favorite.
It took a while to convince him we were actually on a boat. After our first excursion he finally realized it when we had to walk back to the boat. We all had a wonderful time swimming, eating, swimming with dolphins, plays at night and Calvin's favorite was dancing.
Once we got home I came up with a great idea of writing a book on what not to do with your adoptive child on a cruise. Of course it was a Disney cruise, which means they cater to the kids and families. We would be eating breakfast outside on the deck and servers would walk past, feed Calvin, touch him, talk to him etc. He just loved it of course (seeing he is already so out going). He would say ' mommy, feed me', 'mommy, hug me'. Telling me he was being fed and touched by others. What do ya do in that situation? So a word of advice sit your child between you and your spouse so no one can get to them! To help him with boundaries we have been telling Calvin we only hug and kiss family. We give high fives to friends and we don't talk to strangers. Well, on the cruise you have to hug the disney characters right? He was having a blast! ' Look mommy kissing Mickey'.

 Calvin head butted and kissed all the characters

 Snow white gave him a kiss, and he is reaching to hug her! Oh well.

 Daddy and Calvin dressed for formal night

 Pirate night on the boat

A dolphin swimming behind Calvin in Mexico

Calvin home 8 months

This week we have noticed a difference in Calvin towards mommy. He wants to sit by me, hug me, wants mommy to do it and asks for skin on skin (which we don't do anymore). He couldn't get enough of me in church yesterday. He was snuggling his head into my neck and squeezing me. It was great! He is still doing swimming with daddy on Saturday mornings, and his new excitement is the jumping castle we put up for Cathryn's birthday party. I actually bought this for the kids xmas gift and was hoping to put it in out basement for the winter but it was too big for our basement. Calvin loves the air pump (machine he calls it) and jumping. He tires easily, but at least he is using his muscles.
Today we met with the school district to discuss their findings and to see whether Calvin would qualify for physical and occupational therapy. He does! I am so glad they see what I see. They both say he is behind his peers, he is at a 24 month age for physical therapy (that is jumping, balance, throwing, walking etc). For occupational therapy (fine motor skills, like drawing, puzzles, scissors etc) he is between 21-23 month old. He doesn't qualify for speech (but they will re-evaluate once he is in preschool, probably in December) as he seems to be progressing well.
We are all getting a bit excited around here, with spring break coming. We are going on a Disney Cruise.  Calvin loves Mickey Mouse and swimming so I hope he enjoys it.  I am sure we will all have a ball. The weather is fantastic these past few weeks, so we have gone on bicycle rides. We take Calvin with us in a bike trailer, and he has enjoyed that. He has improved so much since he came home with his abilities to climb a ladder, run in the back yard and not falling as much. He was a scared little boy who is now a happy little boy full of laughter. I love it when he says, mommy, Calvin happy! He loves me tickling him now, he asks to read books before bed, he wants to rock and sing songs, he is finally sure of himself and his place in our family. He is very outgoing (his personality) so he still likes to chat with people, give high fives, but he knows at the end of the day where his family and home are.
The next adventure after Disney for our family will be getting a puppy. Another new for Calvin. Stay tuned.

Pleven Orphanage Cry Out for HELP

http://www.only1mom.com/2012/03/update-on-pleven-medical-fund.html

PLEASE check out the above blog. Shelley is in Bulgaria now visiting with doctors who have heard about the abuse the children in Pleven have undergone. The doctors are wanting to help these children but money is needed. Pleven is under investigation for abuse of these children, I know personally of a couple of families who have adopted from this orphanage and it is disgraceful how these children have been treated. Can you imagine a 14 yr old weighing 14 pds? Yes it is sin and we live in a sinful world, but we can help and be light in this world. IF you can help in anyway please CHIP in on Shelley's blog. Thank you.
Let's help the helpless that can not speak up for themselves.

Cathryn's 7th party

              Jumping castle for Cathryn's Rainbow party

   Cathryn ready for her party to start....my sweet little girl

 Rainbow cake and chocolate covered pretzels

Goody bottles for the kids to take home....the theme was rainbows.
I got all my ideas from Pinterest. We had a rainbow cake (white cake with different color layers), rainbow drinks (coolaid), we had a rainbow pinata (homemade, from Pinterest), a game called place the pot of gold under the rainbow. A fun time was had by all 17 girls and 1 boy.

Home 7 months...what a change

Calvin has been with us now 7 months and he is such a different child. He is happier, more relaxed with us, not as scared or uptight. He now knows mommy tickling him, rolling on the floor with him is fun and not scary. I remind him mommy won't hurt you, mommy takes care of you, mommy is playing with you. Before he would be really scared and cry. He is also now being affectionate on his own without us initiating it. He will hug my leg and say lub you. He will not sit next to us on the couch when watching t.v, instead of sitting in the bean bag on the floor. He loves his bath time and reminds us every night at dinner.
Language: Calvin uses I instead of saying Calvin (he does this sometimes but not as much), he did use the past tense (I saw fire truck). He prefers to just used 2 words to get his point across, but when redirected he will use a sentence like: May I have another book, instead of , book please.
Next week he is being evaluated by the school district for speech therapy, OT and PT. He isn't falling as much either, probably because he weighs more and is building up his strength. After his dental procedure though, he was a bit tipsy for a few days. He has another dental procedure coming up the first week of March (2 more fillings).
Another mile stone is we left him and our 2 girls with a close family friend for an hour so we could go out and celebrate Valentine's Day. He did fine. My friend though did say he would bring toys and play close to her (insecurity?) . After his nap he was also a bit emotional (weepy)and couldn't explain why. He kept saying because......because...... I tried to give him feelings, and he said he was sad but couldn't say why he was sad. We talked about how mommy will always come back and how we take his sisters to school and always pick them up and bring them home. I am not sure when we will try that again, but I think it did help having his sisters there.
Calvin talks non stop, loves us to read him books, wants to help unload the dishwasher, asks to have his teeth brushed, loves swimming, very outgoing, tattles on his sisters all the time, and is a very happy fun loving boy.

Diaper Fundraiser for Bulgaria Orphanage

http://thehowe5.blogspot.com/2012/02/share-your-love.html

And some great incentives to give!
These children only have 1 diaper sometimes for the whole day to wear. Please help these little ones.

Pictures....

        Daddy and Calvin cooking meal for girls at Caroline's 9th Birthday party sleepover
                                                  

                                              Swimming lesson for Calvin. He loves them.

                                         Calvin his first night in his 'big boy bed'.

MRI update

Before I get into the MRI results, I have to admit that I am contemplating closing my blog and turning it into a book for Calvin. He has now been home with us for almost 7 months and I feel like there really isn't much more to share with families in the process. We brought our son home and now we are moving on with life as a family of 5. He is adapting well and like I say at the end of each post, we are blessed beyond measure by him. Will let you know before I close this blog down, but it will be in the near future. I still enjoy reading other families blogs who have adopted before us and around the same time as us. Without further adieu....
Calvin and I drove to Ann Arbor, stayed in a hotel (in the hospital) because our MRI appointment was at 6:45 am. Needless to say, it was a horrible night sharing a bed with Calvin. He hates being under covers, he was crying on and off through the night (don't know why, he couldn't tell me), at one point he even fell out of the bed (trying to get out from under the sheet), and it was so hot in the room. We got no sleep. I think if there is a next time, I will stay home, get some good sleep and leave very early instead.
He wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything after 5:45am. We were up before that.... We got to our appointment at 6:15. My mother in law met me there and kept me company while he was in the MRI from 8:30 (we left him flying high as a kite)  until they paged us at 11am. The procedure took them from 9:20-10:30. He was in recovery until 11 (sleeping). They are so good at that hospital. I was able to go and eat breakfast in the cafeteria with a pager. If they needed me they would page me.  Calvin doesn't remember anything from the time I left him at 8:30 until the time I came back.
The good news is that the blood clots are gone (thank you  blood thinners). They want to keep him on them thought at least for another couple of months until our next appointment. The not so good news, is that they saw a sac of fluid next to his lung. So once he was awake they did an echo of his lung, compared it to the X-ray they did in November. Our doctor says it looks like it was there in November, the good news is he has no pneumonia, so it isn't affecting his breathing. However, we would like to know what it is. So in a couple of months he has to have a CAT scan done. They said it could be a sponge left from his last surgery (got to be kidding me) or just enclosed fluid from his last heart surgery. Please pray it isn't anything serious and that it will either disappear on its own or we can do something about it. Calvin's heart function has improved on the medications he has been on, so they wan't to continue the medications for another year and go from there. The downside of this is right now our insurance company isn't covering these medications anymore, we are appealing their decision. I thank my God for holding this little boy in his hand, for saving his life at birth and I know He has a special plan for his life. I will continue to pray for healing for him.

Dental Work

Calvin went to the dentist for a checkup just before Christmas. The dentist said he had 6 cavities and needed a crown on his back molar. Calvin was given some medications to make him a bit relaxed for the procedure. I was more nervous than him. They took him  and he was only gone for 30 min to get 2 of them done. He has to go back 3 more times. He did great, no tears! The crown was a bit sensitive the first day, he woke up from nap crying and in the middle of the night saying his teeth hurt. So we gave him some baby tylenol. He is such a trooper. We scheduled the next appointment for March.
This Monday Calvin has another appointment in Ann Arbor for his heart. He is having a sedated MRI. I am praying the blood clots have been absorbed into his body and he can be taken off the blood thinners. I would be even happier if he was taken off all his medications if at all possible.
Calvin has been home now 6 months and 2 weeks, and he used a complete sentence without being asked or prompted yesterday. He is scheduled to have an evaluation for services Feb 27th. He has improved so much since being home, it is amazing what food and exercise can do for a little body. He is a very smart boy, he knows his colors, shapes and learns songs quickly. We are so blessed by this little boy!

Latest IRS form for adoption tax credit

http://www.irs.gov/formspubs/article/0,,id=235825,00.html

Thought this would be helpful to some of you out there. Have fun gathering all the documents!

With his family 6 months

Yesterday we went to story time at the library. When Calvin first came home, he couldn't sit and look at a book for more than 30 sec. He couldn't watch tv for more than 2 minutes. He walked around the house, closing doors, and going from one activity to another.  I was a bit hesitant to take him to story time, but we have been talking about sending him to preschool next fall. I told him he had to sit crisscross applesauce, listen to the teacher reading the stories and obey. He chose to sit in my lap on the floor, and honestly, he was the best behaved child there. He loved the music time and using the shakers. The story theme was zoo, so I think he understood most of the books. I did notice how he was developmentally behind when we did a craft afterwards. The kids were coloring and cutting themselves. Calvin need my assistance.
He has come so far. I would say language and attachment still need work, but his behavior, and attention span have come so far.  He is doing puzzles now with no crying, he asks to do homework (which is his shapes, colors and finger exercises). He gets a skittle if he gets all his colors and shapes correct so he is motivated.
I am looking forward to his 1 year anniversary to see how much further he will have gone and accomplished.

Swimming lessons and other lessons

This past Saturday was Calvin's first time taking swimming lessons. He got to see the girls go to theirs on Wednesday night, and he said he was excited.  Chris went with him and said he loved it. He blew bubbles in the water,  chased a rubber ducky and let Chris hold his hands to jump in the water. He can't wait to go again. I am so glad it was a good experience because it could have gone either way. He was very scared when we first took him to the swimming pool this summer.
Calvin is playing at longer stretches finally. He will play with playdough and it will actually last longer than 2 minutes. Not 30 min but it is progress. He has also been going to church with us, and over all does well sitting in his chair, or on the floor, reading his books and eating a snack.
I do feel one day is a step forward and the next is a step back though with him, in relation to attachment. He will do great with us at home, but when we go to friends or church he just seems to have no boundaries. I know this will come with time and age. He will talk to complete strangers, touch them and want to interact with them. My friend said I love you to her son, and Calvin responded, 'lub you' to her. It is difficult teaching your child to be polite and respond to strangers when they say hello and not just talking to a stranger in a restaurant or play area. We say don't talk to strangers but then be polite if they talk to you!
Learning: Calvin asks to do homework, because we do this in the afternoons with the girls. So this week at home we worked on his shapes. He knows circle, triangle, diamond and square. He is also learning the colors black, brown and white. He already knows red, green, blue, yellow and orange. I think he is very smart. He still needs to work on his sentences though. He chooses to say just key words to get his point across. This morning was so funny, he saw the moon and said, ' moon broken'. I looked up andhe was right, it wasn't a full moon but half a moon. He is so funny. We love him so much, and praise God for this precious gift.

Another adjustment for Calvin

This morning I was in the shower, so I put Calvin in his crib to read books, listen to music and play with some toys. As I am getting out of the shower, I hear feet land on the floor and run towards the bathroom. Little man comes running in with a big grin on his face. I asked him if he climbed out his crib and he got a guilty look on his face, I told him to give me 5 and what a big boy he is. But I told him he can't do that anymore or he will fall and hurt his head ( I am thinking bleeding while on his blood thinners). Well after talking to hubby we decided we should nip this in the b..t before we do find him bleeding on the floor. So we put up the side railings on his big boy bed (full size bed). He was all excited at bed time, we took photo's of him on his big boy bed, the girls climbed on the bed with him, we read a book together and sang a song. Then it was time to say goodnight. He asked me to sleep with him, so I said 'a little bit'. I lay there for 45 min and he wasn't asleep, so I kissed him and told him I had to go. He seemed alright about it, he is sleeping with his Mickey Mouse.  Curious to see if he stays in bed through the night and nap tomorrow. Maybe I will nap with him!
My little boy is getting big.

Calvin's first Xmas with us

First xmas present, mickey mouse

Bowling the day after Xmas

Calvin loves firemen and trucks, he was happy with his dress up

Matching pj's Christmas evening